The Case of The Chronic Krunk

The sky was dark, really dark, an individual such as yourself couldn't see shit, except THE shit, but replace shit with Fatass, and THE with Doctor. His large demeanor intimated you to his fat ass, hence the name Fatass, dumbass. You saw in his arms was the distinct shape of a Twix Yard®. You thought that the succulent long 3 foot Twix was fucking hot. Weird kink you got there, but alright. It was then that Dr. Fatass noticed you staring at his uncomfortably large ass Twix.

"Yo Guac, what you lookin at?"

You couldn't hear Dr. Fatass's bitch ass statement due to the fact that Twix Caramel Cookie Bars are a delicious combination of smooth chocolate, chewy caramel and crisp cookie. Delicious whether simply unwrapped and enjoyed, or incorporated into your favorite dessert recipes, these Twix Cookie Bars are sure to please.

"Mars Twix Yard Long Caramel Cookie Bars. Long Yard Caramel Long Mars Bars with Cookie Long Yard Mars Twix Mars Yard Bars."

"Ey! You deaf? What is the airspeed of an unladen Pidgey?"

You snapped out of your Twix trance and looked at Dr. Fatass.

"Wha- Hu- Sorry?" You stammered. "Can you repeat what you just said?"

"WRONG."

Damn you looking like a real headass to Dr. Fatass, the Astrologist, right now.

"Smh, can't even ass you a simple question."

"What?" You asked.

"Never mind, forget the assinine question." Dr. Fatass then proceeded to blast the ass out of your small ass with his astronomically sized Mars Twix Yard Long Caramel Cookie Bars.

You awoke to the sound of Humana Humana Humana Humana Humana Humana Humana Humana Humana Humana Humana Humana Humana Humana Humana Humana Humana Humana.

"Where am I?" You ass yourself. You are now the ass. The End.

Anyways, what could be a more perfect ending to a summertime meal than easy peach cobbler? Savor the flavors of summer with sliced fresh peaches cooking away with butter and spices. The topping can made from pantry ingredients you have on hand and peaches can easily be substituted with any fruit you have depending on the time of year. The tang of the lemon juice paired with the sweetness of the peaches is perfectly balanced with the crisp topping. Want to make dessert even better? A dollop of fresh whipped cream or cold vanilla ice cream truly makes it the perfect way to end a summer night.

Ingredients

 * 1/2 cup unsalted butter
 * 1 cup all-purpose flour
 * 2 cups sugar, divided
 * 1 tablespoon baking powder
 * Pinch of salt
 * 1 cup milk
 * 4 cups fresh peach slices
 * 1 tablespoon lemon juice
 * Ground cinnamon or nutmeg (optional)

How to Make It
Dr. Fatass was standing outside the office with a frowned look on his face. He was clearly disappointed. A smaller man opened the office door and invited Dr. Fatass in.

"Do you know why I'm here?" Dr. Fatass questioned Senior

Yield

10 servings.

"1/2 cup unsalted butter"

"1 cup all-purpose flour" Dr. Fatass stated.

2 cups sugar, divided, was Dr. Fatass and his co-worker. It was a strange sight to behold, two friends, pitted against one another in the struggle of 1 tablespoon baking powder.

''Allstar - by Smashmouth begins to play. Pinch of salt goes about his''

''day. While in a nearby town, the 1 cup milk get together to go''

after the 4 cups fresh peach slices.



'''$$ \qquad D\theta c\Tau\Theta r \qquad \digamma\Lambda\Tau\Lambda\zeta\varsigma \qquad \Eta\Lambda\bigvee\Epsilon \qquad \digamma\Alpha\Tau \qquad \mathcal{A}\varsigma\zeta $$'''

$$ \Tau\Eta\xi \qquad \epsilon\Nu d \qquad \Iota\varsigma \qquad \Nu\varepsilon\alpha\Gamma$$

$$\delta\alpha\nu\varepsilon \qquad \Mu\xi$$

$$\Eta\epsilon' \delta \qquad \Eta\varepsilon\Gamma\epsilon$$$$\theta\Eta \qquad g\Theta d$$

ļ̴̧̡̛̛̛̜̻͕̺͇̲̘͇͇̻̥̮͚̜̬̼̥̞̩͔͖̜̬̫̫̭̙̬̮͖̮̗̱̝͈͗͛̀̑͗͂̃̓͐͌̀̊̀͋̿͗̔̊̐̽̔́͒̆̇͗͒̃̈́̀̋̏̅͑̂͒̿͗̎̑͑̃̉̏̈́͑̋͂̈́̃̅͊̍̎͑̽̈́̂̒̽̄͆̍̉͌̇̊̍͛͂̈́̈́́̌̈́͂̓̉̒̐̅͗͌̌́͑̒̀̽͐͛̈̀̇̑̑̂̏̔̋̅̅̔̀̇̀̓͌̿̉̚̚̚̕̕̚͘̕͝͠͝͝͝͝͝͝͝͠͝͝͠ͅ$$\Eta\epsilon\iota\rho$$

$$\rho\iota\epsilon\Lambda\delta\epsilon$$

$$\iota \qquad \Eta\Lambda\nu\epsilon \qquad \Nu\theta \qquad \Mu\sigma\mu\Tau\Eta$$

$$\iota \qquad \Mu\mu\zeta\Tau \qquad \zeta c \Gamma\epsilon\alpha\Mu$$

$$\Tau\Eta\epsilon \qquad \epsilon\Upsilon\xi\varsigma$$

$$d \Theta\Pi\Tau \qquad l \sigma\theta\Bbbk \qquad \iota\Nu\Tau\sigma \qquad \iota\Tau '\delta \qquad \varepsilon y \epsilon\delta$$

There is literally no difference between left twix and right twix, you imbecile, you fucking moron, you absolute buffoon.

butt