You Became Sand

TL;DR one of these days you were walking in and out of the house (but quarantine makes you not be able to go out of the house so don't try that in real life please).

Your name is Justin House. Your mission is to go out of house and get groceries. But you would have to drive the car first in order to go to the store and get groceries. So what do you do? You grab the car keys and head out of your house to the car. However, when you arrive to the car you realize that the key that was necessary to enter the car is in the house. So you go back up to the front door of your house and realize that the key that opened the front door of your house is not in your possession either, but it is instead trapped in the car. This is bad. You then come up with a master plan to get the keys back.

You fetch a bobby pin from your pocket and try to pick the lock of the door of the car. You also look in the car window and see the delectable house key on the driver's seat. "Oh, what I would give to eat that house key," you (Justin House) say. You spend around 10 hours doing this, and then become very hungry. A status bar in the top right corner of the screen flashes to let you know that you are hungry. Your hunger drives you to sucker punch the car window, which shatters the glass. The glass screams "Ow! That hurt, but I am glass." You reach in the car, grab the house key, and swallow it whole. Your stomach thanks you for your benevolence, but you are still hungry. You (Justin House) look menacingly at the house (not you, but a house). You lick your lips. "I'm gonna eat this house," you announce proudly.

The glass from the broken car window reassembles itself. You waddle over to the house with your mouth agape. "I'm gonna eat this house, but only after I kiss it," you say. You (Justin House) stroll over to the door of the house, spray some cologne on your beautiful face, and pucker your lips. You give the door a couple of wet smooches. The house is disgusted. "HOUSE RAPE!" you hear from about 3.4 miles away. "THIS MAN IS A HOUSE RAPIST!"

Good job, fuckface. Your perverted kissing of the "house" has angered the Anti-House Assault Organization (AHAO), who are now after your guts. Was it worth it? I sure hope so, you disgusting piece of shit. You're so stupid and I hate you, Justin. You should not have kissed that house. The glass from the car window shatters again. You run far away from the house, hoping to find a brief period of solace in which to call the police. It's gonna be hard, and you're kind of an idiot for trying. But I can't stop you. I am only Fnaf LORE II Wiki Narrator.

Your dumb ass runs for a few miles, then dives into some tall bushes along the side of the road. This gives you some time to call the police while the glass from the broken car door window reassembles itself. "I AM CALLING THE POLICE!" you scream loudly, which alerts the AHAO mob to your position. They try to run over to you, but they can't manage to get to your safe space before the police arrive and blare their nanosirens. The police tumble infinitely out of their hypercars and then proceed to giga-brutalize every member of the mob with their advanced ueberweaponry, using Strompov Hammers to nanofracture their bones, A-Grade Carbon-frame Megaslicers to harvest their flesh, and quantum-style dirigible laser arrows to macroparalyze and third-degree burn them from the inside out. You (Justin House) are sent into a state of supershock while the police manage to mow down the crowds with their deadly baubles and trinkets. The police captain then exits his aircraft, runs over to you, and quickly shakes your hand. "This is the highest number of AHAO rebels we've been able to eliminate in years!" the captain exclaims. "How did you do it?"

"Well, you see..." you reply smugly while the car window reassembles itself,

"TL;DR one of these days you were walking in and out of the house (but quarantine makes you not be able to go out of the house so don't try that in real life please).

Your name is Justin House. Your mission is to go out of house and get groceries. But you would have to drive the car first in order to go to the store and get groceries. So what do you do? You grab the car keys and head out of your house to the car. However, when you arrive to the car you realize that the key..."

"..."

The police captain stares at you blankly.

"That was my house. And my car."

He detaches a strange looking ray gun from his cyberholster while making an angry face.

"What are you going to do with that?" you ask, quivering in fear.

"SAND," he replies in monotone. The cops around him all start chanting the same word. "SAND! SAND! SAND! SAND! SAND!"

He shoots you (Justin House) with the gun. You feel terrible pain.

You became sand.